To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
The Byrds
In the work I do as a Change & Transition Strategist and workshop leader, it’s become apparent to me how modern life encourages a blurring of the seasons (outer and inner); those rhythms and plot points that in ancient times were easy to see and surrender to. The production of food, and light to facilitate that production, and countless other creations being the most obvious examples. But now, light through the darkest of nights prevails, and it’s always summer somewhere to behold. Our seasons now run together.
When one sees and feels life in this more modern way, the natural rhythms of life get thrown off, the compass spins, and true north goes missing. Where are we? Where should we be?
The Moffitt Method℠ has something to say about this.
I often begin working with clients by asking them how they would like their life to feel two, three, or perhaps five years on? We have to be able to imagine what we want (before we can reach for it), and we have to separate why we want it from the many voices that have already encouraged us to want it. I strongly believe that living a fulfilling life entails in a substantial way living it in alignment with our values.
Part of the process of navigating change and transition begins with the development of clarity around our values. From there, we can minimize and eventually eliminate the things that aren’t in alignment with our values, as well as add the things that promote those values. A key point in Changes & Transitions Workshops and individual sessions entails helping participants uncover clarity about their values as distinct from what they ‘think’ they should find valuable. We are all products of our conditioning, and the values we hold may be too limiting or even outdated. They may be the values we ’inherited’ from family, society, gender orientation, race, economic status, and such, and as such, may not incorporate, or may in fact subordinate some of the values we actually hold deep down, or have matured into.
Part of a Changes & Transitions Workshop or individual strategy session involves learning and acknowledging the season you are in and comparing that to your goals and the models social science puts forth based on certain ages and cycles in life. Having a map is of course not the terrain, but it can offer a clear direction to take based on our goals. Change & Transition Strategy work helps us clarify those goals, based on our current and ever evolving values, while also helping us identify the attitudes and beliefs that may be in conflict with our best intentions.
In one of my recent workshops, a student in his late 40’s found himself at a crossroad based on achieving his work, financial, and familial goals. He could carry on, as all the external forces (and outside opinions) in his life pointed to, or he could answer the call to change something he could feel but was afraid to articulate, because it would mean change. It didn’t make sense. His life was quite good and stable. Through the weekend course he was able to embrace the fear that comes naturally with accepting the call to change, realign his feelings and actions with his updated values, and have a real reckoning with the season he was in (late 40’s), which fostered the courage to make a tremendous change and transition. He uprooted everything and moved back to his native culture (Jordan) and reported a tremendous sense of joy, vitality, and renewed purpose.
The Moffitt Method℠ offers a template as well as encouragement for what can and should be engaged and transformed (think “transitioned”) at any age. If nothing else, what could be more valuable?
We can know ourselves in ever deepening ways, and act appropriately on that knowing, especially if we know our season. As The Byrds sang and expressed so beautifully….
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
I swear it’s not too late.
Ty Powers (Certified Change & Transition Strategist, IFS counselor, Integral Coach)